The Mirage of human relationship

Human relationship are not rocket science, they are far, far more complicated.  James W. Pennebacker.

Happy new year fam, thanks for riding 2021 with me and I am glad it gave all the needful lessons, may this new year be more financially, morally and spiritually fulfilling.

If you watch me slowly drift away and you didn't stop me, I'd blame you. Yes! It's your fault and I will explain:

Drifting away (from you) could be because you don't reciprocate the kind of energy I send. And in truth, some of us won't give up until the last trial. These are reasons why I don't fancy second chances.

I must have given all my all in exchange for a change and all in the name of chances. As much as chances are constant, change isn't relatively constant in this society anyway. So if I drifted eventually, I'd probably tried my best to make it work but you yielded no result leaving me with no other choice. The second reason would probably be natural; I am likely to drift away carefully or carefreely. In the case of the latter, it's expected of you to call me to order if you need me around. But if you don't, that means it is meant to be.

I know these things are easier said than done. But one thing I've understood about us (humans) is that when we deeply want something we give it all it takes; and when we don't, we let it slip at the tiniest opportunity. So, on this note, If you love me and I haven't been so open to letting me know it, shame on you.

I know we all have boundaries. As a matter of fact, it's a necessity. You shouldn't joke with what you won't take because what you tolerate will continue.

But take heed when people complain about certain acts and behaviour. 

I have encountered different personalities so far. But I still don't understand certain relationships (friendship and love relations). Yes, there is no manual to human relations. But it seems as though humans just intentionally complicate issues. We sometimes create mount hills from tabletops. 

Communication is important in building a perfect relationship. For someone like me, I love clarity. I overthink insignificant occurrences. I pay attention to the use of words. To be sure you are not passing a wrong message, you need to be explicit, lucid and make your points clear in terms. 

Moreover, maybe we should also view it from an upbringing perspective. The fact that Nigeria has indeed frustrated us and our upbringing differs is one factor that affects our bonding sometimes. As much as we do all have individual differences, many do not make attempts at unlearning and thereby pass their agony unto their counterparts. Although unlearning is hard, but if put to practice, it brings actual growth and understanding.

It's been a long time coming in an insane society where everyone is projected as prey. We have issues of trust rummaging us like ants on sugarcane. We are too woke to pay attention to issues eating deep into our bosoms. We are so fucked yet woke; so liberal yet conservative. I hope this serves as a wake call. I hope to see an environment where everyone bonds and live together in unison. 

I am open to corrections but my articles are always from a personal perspective. If this comes across as something relative to your immediate environment too, then I am glad I am writing through your mind. We are all in this together and you would agree that a change is imminently required. 

Over the years, I have made friends and I have logically fallen out with some people too. It thought me one thing: that human relationships could be hard to maintain. That it needs conscious efforts from two willing adults. But I have lived most of my life in intense emotional anguish that I lost all the strength in me. But humans won't stop projecting you as the insane one because you are asking for the barest minimum. Little is always too much to give from people who plan to give nothing at all.

Sometimes, things that mattered to us most hurt the most. And in other to get over the pain, we need to severe all the extensions that keep us connected to such pain. So that's what I do most times. I save myself from agony by drifting away. 

What's the key takeaway from this?

That relationship can last years, weeks, or even lesser. The comfort and peace of mind that comes with it is what matters. And no matter how short, it could be transformational as the ones you had in the past years. 

People come and go but relationships are absolute requisites.

And how do we contribute to the changes human relationship needs, LEAVING PEOPLE BETTER THAN WE MEET THEM.

yours in love,

Teni❤